What is Resilience and how to elevate it?

Author: Meraki Coaching - Canada |

Every time you face a difficult situation, how do you react? Do you move on or do you give up? The way we respond to these types of situations is closely related to resilience.

What is Resilience?

We like to define resilience as the capacity people have to get up from adversity with serenity and patience, face the obstacles that life puts in front of them, without blaming anyone, and take advantage of that adversity to overcome and improve their lives.

When you are resilient, you take advantage of your inner strength to bounce back from the setbacks and challenges that life presents you with, such as the loss of a job, an illness, a disaster, or the death of a loved one.

If you lack resilience, you may become obsessed with problems, feel a victim of the circumstances, be overwhelmed by the situation, or resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, like isolation, aggressivity (to yourself or to others), addictions, or substance abuse.

Adversities and difficult situations will always be there. And we have to keep a positive attitude, and be grateful for all the lessons and learning that we will take away from them. However, we must be prepared to cope with them in the best possible way.

How to develop Resilience?

Building resilience is a long process that requires a lot of learning about ourselves. Here are seven keys to becoming a resilient person:

  • Having self-awareness: It is important to know ourselves, to know what affects us negatively and work on it. We must create a self-image of capacity and strength that allows us to see ourselves with the necessary resources to manage adverse situations.
  • Having emotional self-control: It is not about not crying or not feeling, it is about acknowledging those emotions and accepting that we can experiment and express them in different ways. We have to learn to cry, to scream, etc. But at the same time, we have to manage and channel these emotions in a proper manner, so we become stronger.
  • Controlling our impulses: We have to learn to detect the first signs of stress in order to be able to timely manage and channel the impulses that are generated right after the event. 
  • Having a positive attitude: If we analyze the situation and treat it with confidence and optimism, we will realize that everything is manageable and temporary; and that not everything is as terrible as it seemed at first.
  • Being realistic and accepting reality: Resilient people are objective. Mindfulness helps you to accept reality as it is.
  • Learning to grow from problems: We must analyze what has happened to us, no matter how bad it is, and learn from it.
  • Having a sense of humor: Once a stressful event has happened and we can do nothing to avoid it, how we behave will affect us psychologically in the days that follow. Learn to laugh at the problems!

In addition to putting these tips into practice, you must keep hope strong. Hope inspires you, drives you to keep going, to get up every time you fall, to replenish your energy, and to grow stronger and stronger. Without it, you won’t believe in yourself and your ability to stay strong in stressful situations.

Becoming more resilient takes time and practice. If you feel like you’re not making progress, or don’t know where to start, consider talking to one of our certified coaches. With coaching, you can improve your resilience and mental well-being.